Unacceptable OOCs
by Anovia
Summary: You know how you read a story and characters have to be a tad OOC? That's fine. But when characters are extremely out of character, well, that's just unacceptable. Pure Crack. Human names in addition to country names used. Many characters inside.


**So this is my acceptance of apology story for Shiralala? Yeah. Sure. It took me ten days instead of a week, but shhhhh.**

**So many stories have OOCs, so I decided to give people examples of OOCs that are simply unacceptable...**

**Warning: Extreme OOCs**

**Disclaimer: I would say I don't own Hetalia, but when characters are this OOC, is it even Hetalia anymore?**

**So I'll make a bet with you, if you can imagine the countries doing everything I wrote below, you can leave my story. You win, and if you want to tell me you won, you can follow it. Okay? But if I win, you have to review. Do we have a deal?**

* * *

Monaco listened to the bet, but waved it off. She wasn't one to gamble.

* * *

Sealand shrugged and looked at Wy. "It may be fun for you, but I don't think I want to be a nation."

* * *

Seychelles glared at England with disgust. _That bastard has got to be the worst of them all._

* * *

Cuba looked at the ice cream in disgust. _Why would anybody want to eat that?_

* * *

"Hey Iceland, we were going to go to the Hot Springs and pick up some licorice on the way. Wanna come?" Norway asked.

"No thanks Onii-chan. Today I'm going streaking with England."

* * *

"Netherlands, I think you should start focusing on your economy. You know, think of ways to make money," Belgium suggested.

The other nation shook his head. "I think I'll relax for now. Money isn't everything."

* * *

"No, Turkey's flag is definitely blue. Isn't that right Turkey?"

The Turk shrugged. He wasn't in the mood for an argument.

"Hey, weren't you supposed to be entertaining tourist?"

"I just want to sleep," the country complained.

* * *

"Austria, do you like music?"

"God no. It's annoying, unbearable even. Especially the piano."

* * *

"America, do you want to go to McDonald's?"

"Nah, I had Chinese food three hours ago and I'm still pretty full."

* * *

"What heroic thing do you have planned for today?"

America glanced at his brother then scratched the back of his head. "I'm not much of a hero."

* * *

Prussia twiddled his thumbs and looked at the other nation uncertainly. "I wouldn't describe myself as awesome."

* * *

"Russia, can I become one with you?" Lavita asked, hopefully.

"No, I'd hate to add other nations to my country. I think it's big enough."

* * *

America brought a plate full of pancakes to the table, syrup at the ready. Both Canada and Prussia shook their heads after one bite.

"Why would anyone eat that slob?" the albino asked, staring at the stack of pancakes before him.

"It looks, smells, and tastes atrocious," the Canadian commented.

"And that sticky stuff you poured on top of it..."

"Right? As if the pancakes didn't taste bad enough by themselves."

* * *

"Hey France, do you want to have sex?"

The French nation shook his head. "No thanks England. I'm tired."

"You don't even have to do anything. You can just lie, there I'll do all the work," the sandy hair blond pleaded.

"No thanks. I'm waiting until I get married. Chastity is very important to me."

* * *

France scarfed down his food greedily, then looked up at the chef, holding his plate out. "_C'est magnifique! Encore s'il vous plait!_"

England sighed. "You've already had so many scones. Do you really want more?"

"_Oui_, I've never had food this good. Your cooking is the best."

* * *

"Hey Germany, me and the rest of the Bad Touch Trio are going to paint the town red. Wanna come?"

The German nation nodded, ignoring his brother's bad grammar. He didn't care to correct the albino. "Breaking the law? That is definitely the best thing to do anyday."

* * *

Cuba fist pumped America with a smile. He considered the sandy haired blond his best friend, and treated him like a brother.

* * *

"Greece, how are you still awake? I'm so tired."

The Greek country shrugged. "I don't feel tired in the slightest. I actually feel like going for a run."

* * *

Switzerland walked down the dairy aisle and threw the most expensive cheeses into his cart.

"Brother, aren't you afraid that it will cost too much?" Liechtenstein asked unsurely. Just from the looks of it, the dairy could end up costing a small fortune.

"I don't care about the price," the blond smiled. "The flavour is what's most important."

* * *

Hungary watched Prussia pick on Austria. She wished the albino would go away, but she had no means of getting him to leave. So with a sigh, she turned back to the sink and continued to dry her frying pan.

* * *

Japan sat silently as the nations disputed world affairs pertaining to food. He didn't see it as a matter important enough to comment on.

* * *

"Hey, Greece, look. I found a kitten." Japan held the baby cat up for the other nation to see.

"Eww, cats are disgusting. I'm more of a dog person."

* * *

Japan raved on and on about how his salmon had too much salt. He cursed and hollered and screamed. He was beyond angry. He was furious. Punching people left and right.

* * *

Switzerland looked at the gun shop in disgust. He found it baffling that anyone would ever want to own such an atrocity. Shooting others was never the way to deal with any problem.

* * *

Ukraine looked at her siblings and laughed cruelly. "You are pathetic slime that will never amount to anything."

Belarus and Russia exchanged scared glances but said nothing. Their sister was already incredibly mean, they didn't want to push her when she was angry.

* * *

"Belarus, Russia called. He wanted to spend the day with you," Lavita explained.

The blonde rolled her eyes then went back to her conversation with Lithuania. She was not in the mood to talk to Russia.

* * *

"Lithuania?" Belarus asked over the phone.

"Ugh, what do you want?"

"I um... wanted to know... if maybe... we could... I don't know... go out? You know... like... on a date, maybe... if you're free."

"Why would I go on a date with you? I already made plans with Russia. I'd hang out with him over you anyday."

* * *

The smell of pasta filled the air. Its scent was magnetic, attracting practically every country in the vicinity. Italy rested his head in his hand and sighed.

"Ve~ Italy? You do

* * *

n't want any pasta?" the German nation asked, already enjoying his fourth helping.

"I don't like pasta. It's fattening and gets in the way of training."

* * *

"Good morning Romano!"

The Italian nation embraced his guardian and smiled widely. "Hi Spain! Today's a wonderful day to be alive, isn't it? Ooh, do you think you could teach me more Spanish?"

* * *

"Hey Finland! Let's go to the zoo! We can see all sorts of cool animals! Like a giraffe! What noise does a giraffe make? Or zebras? Zebras are so cool! I can never tell whether they're white with black stripes, or black with white stripes..." Sweden continued to ramble and his blond friend let him. He nodded patiently with the conversation and wordlessly, agreed to Berwald's request.

* * *

China went through his photo album nostalgically. He missed the days when he was under England's control. "You should take over me again," the nation suggested to his former master.

"I'm not sure...I don't want to exploit your people."

"Awww, they won't mind. Besides, one can never have enough opium."

* * *

Norway skipped over to his Danish friend and greeted him with a hug. "Do you want to go do something today? I could buy you beer!"

* * *

German denied yet another beer.

"What is this I hear about you not drinking beer? Is it true?" Prussia asked his brother upon entering the bar.

"_Ja,_ I don't want beer."

* * *

**…. Wait a gosh darn second... I think that last one was actually in the anime.**

**Anovia had to hold onto both sides of her head firmly to keep it from exploding. "Germany wasn't drinking beer? What next? England denies the existance of magic? Italy wins wars? Spain can sense the atmosphere?"**

**Haiti2013 came up and whispered something in the author's ear.**

**"What do mean Italy won wars?!"**

**Haiti whispered more information.**

**"You're telling me, chibitalia not only didn't surrender, but was a tough fighter?"**

**The guest author nodded.**

**Anovia threw all her notes in the air. Papers rained down as the writer left the scene. "Screw it. Nothing makes sense anymore. I give up. Next thing you're going to tell me is that people on fanfiction leave reviews."**

**Haiti shook her head, "No no, that's still not true."**

* * *

**So? Did you win? Or am I getting a review? :)**


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